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Being a “Mrs”

The most common question you’re asked after you get married is, “how’s married life treating you?” or “do you feel any different?”. I’m sure I’m guilty of doing the same thing to friends of mine who have tied the knot. But from the receiving end, I found it a weird thing to ask. So this got me thinking; since I don’t have a profound or fairytale answer for it, was there something wrong with me? If I’m being honest, it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve asked myself that question 😅. But I wasn’t sure if I supposed to be on a blissful pink fluffy cloud of happiness or reply instantly with “yes I feel complete!”.

If anything, I was told that many brides get the “wedding blues” once their big day is over. You are consumed by this one event for so long and it takes so much time, planning and energy to put it all together. Once that’s over you end up at a loss on what to do next. But I didn’t get that either.
For me, it was a massive relief. Don’t get me wrong – I had the most incredible day! I genuinely cannot remember the last time I laughed or smiled so much. It was beautiful and my wedding day holds a really special place in my heart, but how the hell people do this more than once I will never know.

If for some freak reason Karne and I were to separate, there is absolutely no way in hell I’d be doing it again!

We all know our circumstances were a little different from the norm. If you don’t, you can catch up here [ CLICK ].

We had to bring the date forward by 4 months pretty urgently and get sh*t done in 6 weeks. Neither of us had a stag or hen do and we weren’t able to go on a honeymoon. I think this is probably why I don’t “feel” different. You usually have a gradual build up. You have time to do things and organise. The stags/hens let you blow off steam and celebrate your upcoming nuptials. Then you have the honeymoon shortly after to spend time as newlyweds and reset. We didn’t get a lot of those things. So even though it was a magical and incredible day, we went into it without much of a fuss and went straight back into normal life. So my “bride buzz” was over within 24hrs, but knowing me this was probably beneficial and helped curb any anxiety or nerves!


As a kid, I looked at life in stages and milestones. An order in which things should happen…

The first this and that, jobs and careers, move in with significant other, buy a house, get engaged, get married, have kids. It’s like an adult tick list or level up. But as I get older, I realise that you really don’t “feel” different when you do any of these things. “Adult” never really happens.

I forget I’m not the 16yr old I used to be, listening to Korn in my senior school common room. The same idiot who’d climb on top of the vending machine because people bet I couldn’t fit in the gap between it and the ceiling. I could by the way… but I couldn’t get back down without help 😅.

It makes me realise that’s why many of our parents embarrassed the hell out of us when they’d try and be “down with the kids”. They really did feel like they were one. I know I still do! I am exactly the same as I was then despite now having the house, job, car, the ring and the overwhelming responsibilities of adult life.

Because truthfully, being a “Mrs” is exactly the same as it was before. Perhaps I’m so content with my life that all these changes feel natural. I’m still the same person, he’s the same person and my relationship evolves and rolls with the punches without much turbulence. I slept like a log the night before my wedding day, nothing kept me awake. And that says it all to me.

The only real difference is that I have a new signature. It’s been 6 months and the muscle memory in my hand still has me using my old one 🤦.
Oh, and I have a new surname no-one can spell. I was sure I had left that behind with my maiden name, but nope! Still having to spell it out for people. Nevermind!

Until next time ♡

Comments

  1. I’ve been married for almost 11 years. Despite the fact that I’ve been married so long and I have three kids, I still forget that I’m the adult. I’m not even a “young” adult anymore (even though I’m only 29). I’m an adult with a little bit of experience. I still feel like I just graduated high school.

    • I saw someone post on twitter that they felt old because they left school 5yrs ago. I was like… I left school 12yrs ago, sit back down lol. It’s so strange how internally you never really feel any different!

  2. Wow, you didn’t have much time to prepare! We had two weddings, one in each of our countries, but the one was bigger than the other so I know how stressful it can be. I planned 2 and the other one from long distance! I get it though, for me, not much has changed and it also just feels like a natural thing.

  3. Congratulations! I have been married for over a decade and my hubby and I talk about it once in awhile and truthfully it’s like we are just dating but living together. Time flies when you are having fun 🙂

  4. Very nice article, and insightful. Interesting that you say, you don’t feel differently. I need the chance to find out if I will feel different!😊

  5. I felt the same. Could have written this (almost lol). Funny thing is we didn’t really even have an engagement. It just kind of started to be planned and then this big 3 day Pirate wedding was planned. Set. Why wait? After 5 years we got marred. That was 3 years ago and nothing changed between us. At all really. But here we are with our first born child (we planned a pregnancy better than we planned our wedding) haha!

    LOVING LIFE || ONE DAY AT A TIME
    LEE B. @LUVLIFEWLEE

    • A pirate themed wedding?? That sounds amazing!!

      Just tried to leave a comment on your blog and it’s coming up with an error. Keeps asking me to type a comment, when I’ve already done it?

      Laura x

  6. Glad you slept like a log the night before your wedding! Have you guys treated yourselves to a honeymoon yet or just going to scratch that one off the list?

  7. That’s so great to hear. I turned 30 last year and I think I went into it thinking I was going to magically age overnight or I was going to feel different in some way. But my birthday came and went and I felt exactly the same. I’m not married yet but I think I would feel the same as you did too after I am – nothing will change!

  8. Sounds like such a whirlwind but a great marriage experience for you so far! Congrats and all the best!

  9. I definitely think this is a good thing more than anything! A relationship or a marriage should not define you, it’s a PARTNERship after all and despite all the cheesy things said about it, you are two separate beings living two different lives. Marriage seems like a wonderful thing and I’m super happy for you and your big day! I’m looking forward to mine although I’m nowhere near it, I’m sure that excitement for it will decrease when I start seeing prices of everything…
    Alice Xx

  10. This is such a lovely post to read. You have a style of writing that always gets me really gripped. I guess I’m one of those people who always ask if they feel different and they never really do. Looking through your other post, your wedding looked absolutely beautiful! For 6 weeks, you’ve done an amazing job. Even though you skipped some of the wedding traditions, you can always go on a honeymoon at any time. My mum never went on one; it’s been 34 years and she’s still going on about it haha.

    Aycan // http://www.littlewhitesocks.com